Learning To Say Goodbye

Well, I am now back among the living, so to speak. Without any means of communication for the past 4 days is almost as difficult as going through the storm. Not quite as nerve racking but quite a feeling of isolation just the same.

Thank God, as so many here in southeastern Louisiana are doing, that Gustav downgraded in intensity before he rolled ashore, especially the people in New Orleans, which is only 50 miles south of where I am. I know the people further south and west of us received the brunt of this storm and my heart goes out to all of them. I heard on the radio that at least 80% of the homes in those parishes received some sort of damage to their homes in various degrees. The loss of life here in Louisiana wasn’t as bad as in the areas in the earlier path of the storm, as in Haiti and Cuba. Unfortunately, the saddest story I heard on the news was of an elderly couple who evacuated to Baton Rouge, west of here, from further down south and were staying with their daughter at her boyfriend’s home and were killed when a huge oak tree fell on the house. The daughter and the boyfriend survived with injuries but the elderly couple were killed instantly.

The mayor of New Orleans, the night before the hurricane hit, held a news conference and put the fear of God into the residents and they listened this time, as in contrast to when Katrina struck. Listening to him that night caused me to question my decision to stay, but by then, it was a little late for me as for anyone who had offered me a ride out of town was long gone. So I just resolved to pray through this thing and hope for the best. Obviously, my prayers were answered as the storm shifted a little more to the west as it approached land. But that still put us into the northeast quadrant which spawns the most severe weather (tornados and heavy rain). Evidently though, it had moved far enough over to the west and most of what we got was the strong, tropical storm winds. My worst fear was that this was going to move through during the nighttime and I wouldn’t be able to see whatever I would hear coming. It turned out that most of the highest winds came through during the day. But what shocked me the most was the weather on Tuesday proved to be almost as bad or worse than when the storm moved through on Monday. Goodness, there must have been about 10 tornado warnings issued that day, one right after the other and they were all in severe thunderstorms moving about 5 miles from my home. Thank goodness, they all missed here but just waiting them out was enough to age you!

When the worst of it all was finally out of here is when the loneliness really set in. Up until then, I guess I was too focused on the worry to deal with or even think about anything else. We didn’t have a problem with the electricity being restored promptly. But there was no cable, phone or internet and cell phone service was non-existant, even texting. Boy, did I ever miss everyone of my friends here. I would’ve traded all the food in my refrigerator and freezer to be able to get back online just for a little while to have some form of communication. And speaking of that, for anyone who may be facing anything like this and is concerned with trying to save their food, my idea of filling ziploc bags days ahead of time and freezing them then filling the freezer with them worked wonders during the long hours that the electricity was out. It worked so well that even the ice cream stayed hard for up to 10 hours. Well, at least I did one thing right.

Anyway, everything seems to be back in working order as far as our communications go. Now I am just waiting for my kids to get back into town and deliver my 17 year old back to me. I wonder if he is going to be as happy to see me as I will be to see him. Probably not, but then he wouldn’t show it even if he did feel that way. I’m sure he enjoyed his adventure away from home without Mom breathing down his neck.

All of this comes on the day that marks the 8th month for me since I lost Dean. Needless to say, his presence was so very missed during all of this. His absence was so much felt as I prayed and waited this thing out. And with no means of communicating with the outside world I couldn’t help but just think about him the entire time. God, I miss him so very much! If there has to be anything good about any of this is the fact that I know now that I can face these things alone. I don’t want to, I don’t like to, but I CAN do it.

I’ve read all of the well wishes and hugs from each of you while I’ve been gone and have to thank you all for caring so much. Wow, you guys are so great!!

I’d written something for my sweetheart that I was waiting to post on today, the 8th month…So this is for you baby…I still miss and love you, always!!

Three Wishes

If I could have three wishes,
I’d wish you back to me,
If only for a little while
So once more I could see…

The twinkle in your eyes, so bright
Whenever you would say -
“Do you know how much I love you?”
Before you went away.

The second wish I’d use to find out
Why you had to go.
No one has ever told me
And I’d really like to know.

It came from out of nowhere,
So much to my surprise,
I didn’t see it coming,
You were gone before my eyes.

The third wish would be special,
That’s why it would come last -
I’d wish that my first wish
Wouldn’t have to end too fast!

I know I’d have to send you back
To Heaven, up above
And when I did, I’d send you with
My neverending love.

I’d make you promise just one thing,
To meet me once again
In my dreams, not every night
But maybe now and then…

It’s so good to be back!! I’ve noticed that as they seem to be working on restoring the cable in my area that I will be getting cut off now and then as they finish their repairs. So if I zap off the screen for awhile, that’s the reason why.